When you say nothing at all
by MariaBellatrix
Summary: How does Lily show James her love and her true feelings for him? Sometimes, silence is better than a thousand words. And what is it that makes her so special in James’s eyes ?


When you say nothing at all

_**by Maria Bellatrix**_

**_Disclaimer_** : I don't own any of the characters, they belong to JK Rowling. The only thing that I do own is my imagination. The song "When you say nothing at all" belongs to Paul Overstreet and Don Schlitz.

**_Summary_** : A romance fic. How does Lily show James her love and her true feelings for him? Sometimes, silence is better than a thousand words. And what is it that makes her so special in James's eyes ?

" _Did you hear me, Potter?_ " asked a angry looking McGonagall.

_Of course I didn't hear you, I never do, only usually you never really notice_, I thought.  
But it was true that I had changed. Even my friends thought I was acting strangely. But then again, how could I not act differently when I was with her ? When class was over, just as I stood to leave the classroom with Sirius who was complaining about being hungry, she walked with her friends just in front of me. Sirius was still talking but I wasn't listening to a word he was saying, I was just looking at the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Suddenly, she turned back, realising she had forgotten her book on her desk. And that was it. The moment her eyes fell upon mine. The moment we looked at each other. The moment she smiled at me, and without saying a word took her book and returned to her friends. Ten minutes passed before I realised that I was standing in an empty classroom. I hadn't noticed when Sirius left, but did it really matter? I had witnessed one of the greatest sightings of my life and I wasn't going to forget it when a voice brought me back to reality.

"_Come on James! What are you still doing here? Peter and Sirius are waiting for you for lunch!_" said one of my best friends, Remus Lupin.   
There was no way I was going to tell him about my biggest crush on Lily Evans. Not that I didn't trust him, he simply didn't understand LOVE. LOVE, for me, had long auburn hair, had beautiful green eyes and smiled like an angel. LOVE was that angel who could turn my world upside down. Love was that woman who could melt my heart just by looking at me.

At lunch I wasn't talking to the guys. At one moment I could feel their eyes on me, but I didn't look back. I could hear them asking me something, wanting to go somewhere. But didn't they realise that I was already elsewhere? Recently, my dreams had become my favourite place to go to and I wouldn't have returned to reality for nothing in the world.

After that I didn't really see much of Lily Evans, maybe because everybody had their nose stuck in those school books, even I found myself trying to make my Potion's homework. My mind had been on exams and I rarely found time to think and dream about Lily. But I hadn't forgotten her. No, I had just put in a little corner of my mind, just waiting for the right time to come for me to bring her in the center of mind. And that right time came.  
Just before my Charm's exam, I was climbing the dark stairs that led to the Charms classroom, when I say her. This time, she was by herself but I had Peter with me. Not that it did made a big difference whether I had Peter with me or not, but still I would have preferred being on my own. When she saw me, she winked at me, smiled, then looked at her watch and began running down the stairs. Suddenly, my dark stairs turned into bright stairs. I had never felt my heart beat this fast. That was it. When I first realised what I was feeling for that girl, something further than love, passion. Without having said one single word to me, I had already given my heart and my soul.

It's amazing

How you can speak

Right to my heart

Without saying a word,

You can light up the dark

Try as I may

I could never explain  
What I hear when

You don't say a thing

Needless to say that my Charms exam was a complete disaster. The only thing that I could remember through the exam was her smile.  
Two weeks after that, I had got into a stupid fight with Sirius and Remus over the best Quidditch team in the world. For me, Bulgaria had the best team, while Remus thought that nobody was better than the Irish and Sirius defended the Swedish team. Peter, being a coward, said he agreed with everybody and played mr. Nice Guy with everybody. Or that was at least what he was planning to do. I bet he never thought that Sirius would say that only stupid and shallow people didn't stand up for what they believed in.  
One day I decided I had to go to the library and return a book that I had taken. I was just about to leave the library when my body paralyzed. Just before me was standing the girl that haunted all my dreams. But she couldn't see me. She was talking to Dumbledore. Trying to hide behind a bookshelf, I tried to listen to the soft sound of her voice when she finished talking. Then Dumbledore said :

" _But now I am sorry to tell you that I have to get going. Besides, I have a feeling that Mr. Potter, standing – or should I say hiding ? – behind the bookshelf wishes to converse with you_." I thought my heart was going to stop. The shame! I could feel myself blushing just when Lily turned back and saw me standing behind a shelf, faking reading a book – which I just realised I was holding upside down – and with an awkward smile on my lips. That was when she looked at me in the eyes. In her eyes, I could see heaven. If her eyes could have talked, they would have told me, not to worry and that she would never leave me. And in my mind, I could just hear her telling me " _I will stand by you forever_" . But she didn't say a word. She just smiled. She was on her way to leave the library when I saw her book. She has forgotten it, again. So, I did what my heart told me to. I grabbed the book and ran after her. I called her. She stopped walking and looked at me.  
" You forgot your book. I just wanted to give it back." I said, carefully choosing my words.  
Then I gave her the book. When I touched her hand, I thought I was going to wake up from one of my dreams and remember that angels, just like ghosts, couldn't be touched.

But I didn't wake up. I was still there. She was alive. She nodded, apparently to thank me, and without saying a thing vanished from my sight.

The smile on your face

Lets me know

That you need me

There's a truth

In your eyes

Saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says

You'll catch me  
Whenever I fall

You say it best  
When you say  
Nothing at all

" _This is getting ridiculous, James_!" yelled Remus at me.  
" _The only thing that is ridiculous is you and your stupid theories_!" I yelled back at him.

" _Do you think I'm stupid or what? Of course, I noticed that every time Lily Evans walks by, you lose touch with reality and seem to be in a dream. Every single time somebody tells her name you try to change the subject of the conversation! And don't you dare deny it! You love the girl!" _ I found myself praying that somehow the earth would swallow me, or that McGonagall would come and remind me of some hours of detention I forgot to do…  
" _And I would say it is safe to assume that she love you too! I mean she isn't that discrete! Think about it! She forgot the same book twice, just to see you one more time!_" Funnily enough, I had never thought about that. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe the reason why she didn't talk to me was because she loved me too and was too shy to talk to me.  
As we were talking, we were going back to the Gryffindor Common room. I hadn't stopped thinking about what Remus had told me. When we entered the room, there must have been at least twenty people there. But something told me that 'the girl of my dreams' was there. And I was right. It was just like the rest of the world was invisible. Just like there was only her and me. Just like we were all alone. She gave me one of the brightest smiles I had ever seen, and that smile brought instant warmth in my heart. I had the feeling that feeling that we had been looking at each other for what seemed to me at least a century, when I came back to the real world. Remus was starring at me.  
" _Did you see it? She didn't tell you anything! That's because you make her nervous, and because she's too shy to admit that she loves you_!" whispered quietly Remus.  
" _You are wrong. We talked for hours, days, months even!_" I replied

" _What? Come on, I was right here, and I didn't hear her tell you one single word_" he said

" _You don't understand, Remus. We did talk, we did share our secrets and admit our feelings to each other, only you couldn't hear it. That's because the language we speak in, is known only by her and me. You'll never know what's been said between her heart and mine. Sometimes, silence is the best language you could speak. Sometimes, silence is the path between two hearts and the key to love_." Yes, I was in love with Lily Evans. Yes, she was in love with me. And then I replied to her, just the way she would have wanted me to. I smiled, and left the room.

All day long

I can hear people

Talking out loud.  
But when you hold me near

You drown out the crowd.  
Try as they may

They can never define

What's been said

Between your

Heart and mine.

You say it best, When you say nothing at all

It was that little mystery surrounding the girl that made me notice her. It was that warm smile that made me fall in love with her. But it was that little look she gave me everytime I saw her, those silent passionate words she never really told me that made me go crazy about her.

I love you, Lily Evans.

The smile on your face

The truth in your eyes

The touch of your hand

Let's me know

That you need me

You say it best, When you say nothing at all

5


End file.
